faerunner:

A number of Aloth fans have expressed (understandable) frustration that

SPOILERS

Aloth
doesn’t stick around if you convince him that one person can make a
difference and it’s worth it to keep trying to reform or dismantle the
Leaden Key. It seems like such a bummer that you have to convince him
one person can’t make a difference, or shouldn’t bother trying, in order
to get him to stay with you.

I can see where that line of
thinking comes from, but I’d like to offer an alternate way of looking
at it that might help Aloth fans feel less bummed. 🙂

I look at this from the perspective of a fellow introverted victim of child abuse who is frustrated by her choices in the game going sour no matter what she chooses.
As a fellow victim of abuse, I did something similar to what Aloth does
in most situations: I try to control my surroundings and situation at
all times.

Aloth was always made to feel out of control in his
life. His dad would randomly start whaling on him for every little
thing. His split personality in his head would suddenly lash out without
his consent at any given time. He risked discovery and ruin every day
of his life from age 15 to 65.

To regain a sense of agency
over his own mind, body, and soul, Aloth sought to control every aspect
of his life that he could; his choice of words, his demeanor, his
wardrobe, and, yes, his surroundings.

It’s more obvious when you’ve read his accompanying short story
(worth the read), but Aloth seeks to overcompensate for feeling out of
control in his own life by trying to control his surroundings all the
time. It doesn’t quite push him into his father’s territory since
Corfiser Sr. tried to gain a sense of agency by controlling Aloth
(which… yikes), but it is unrealistic because it’s a bandage

In
the Third Act of PoE1, helping Aloth learn to either suppress or
embrace Iselmyr is the first step in helping him gain a sense of agency
over his own soul, his own life. If you encourage him to suppress her,
obviously he gains control over his own body and soul. If not, you’re
symbolically helping him to stop worrying so much about control and
learning to “let go,” embrace the wilder side of his psyche. Sides of
himself he was terrified to let loose before because it meant letting go
and surrendering some control.

(That said, seeing some of
the shit that Iselmyr gets up to in Deadfire – namely, kissing Eder
without Aloth’s consent – has made me rethink how great this path
actually is. But that’s another matter.)

In the end of PoE1,
Aloth’s desire to devote his life to either taking over or taking down
the Leaden Key can obviously be seen as him needing direction, since
poor Aloth dislikes floating through life aimlessly, without purpose.
And obviously changing the world for the better, which he does try to do
and should absolutely be commended. (I love this sweet nerdy elf; his
heart is always in the right place even if his words aren’t. <3)

But
it can also be read as Aloth trying to exert control over a situation
that makes him feel small and helpless. It can be seen as Aloth trying
to exert his own kind of order over this huge chaotic force in the
world.

The Leaden Key manipulated and used him for
terrible purposes that caused a lot of harm to others, yet you the
player killed their leader. Depending on how you look at it:

If
you encourage him to dismantle it: You cut off the head, so surely it’s
only a matter of time before the body falls. The rest are without any
real authority or direction. Even if they manage to regroup and
reorganize, there’s no way the next guy will be as brutal, ambitious, or
far-seeing as Thaos. So, why does Aloth feel like he needs to dedicate
his entire life to dismantling it from the ground up?

If you encourage him to lead it: Aloth has decided he agrees with Thaos that the truth of the gods must be kept
from the kith at all costs. The organization itself needs to impose
order in a chaotic world. They can’t just let kith find out for
themselves and trust that they’ll process the information no worse than
they processed the belief that the gods were real. That’s madness! Gotta
autocratic, paternalistic control over this world run amuck.

No
matter how you look at it, Aloth’s desire to direct the path the Leaden
Key takes (whether toward reform or destruction) is Aloth feeling scared
and small in a big chaotic world filled with forces beyond his control,
shaping the world in a direction he feels uncomfortable with. So Aloth
tries to control and direct this huge force for change in a direction he
feels more appropriate; kill off the Leaden Key so they can’t dupe
anyone else like him ASAP, or direct them to keep kith from discovering
the truth of gods.

And it doesn’t really address the underlying
emotional problem of Aloth: he’s trying to control and direct the whole
world as sure as he tries to direct and control his immediate
surroundings, which he does in order to feel less scared, alone, and
insecure about his place in it.

Part of Aloth is still that
scared little boy sure his dad is gonna jump out and hit him out of
nowhere. So he tries to control his surroundings to feel like “dad can’t
jump out and hit me if I control the space he could jump out in.” So he
tries to control the Leaden Key, which itself tries to control the
world, to direct the world in a course that Aloth can influence and thus
feel more in control over.

And that’s kind of why I prefer to
encourage Aloth to abandon his project to dismantle (he never leads in
my playthrus) the Leaden Key. Not because I’m encouraging him to think
“One person can’t make a difference, so don’t bother even trying,” but
rather:

“You can’t control the whole world and everything in
it. Controlling the Leaden Key won’t make you feel more in control of
your own life. And you certainly can’t micromanage the whole world into
the course you want, since people are chaotic little squirrels on sugar
highs who’ll run every which direction no matter what you do. It’s an
illusion you’re chasing; a distraction you cling to to avoid recognizing
you can’t control everything and you don’t need to do so.”

I’d rather Aloth learn to, for lack of a better term: sigh, relax, and let it go.

I’d rather Aloth learn to recognize that it’s okay that there are aspects of the world beyond his control. That Eora people are, let’s face it… pretty chaotic, irrational, dumb superstitious people who’ll behave badly and make a mess no matter what he (or the Watcher) chooses.

So
might as well not spend his entire life slaving over a cause he’ll most
likely never live to see the fruits of his labor on, for an outcome
that will never fully be to his satisfaction if it was, when he can
learn to enjoy the beautifully chaotic world that will find its course
whether he tries to take the helm or not.

Also, fuck, he’s a terrible spy.