Tag: dnd

corseque:

corseque:

I just had the most wizard romance D&D session, my heart is sparkling

Ok I’m going to write out this whole long story because it was just randomly so on-brand with this blog

In our D&D (pathfinder) game, we’re a bunch of people being randomly teleported around the world without explanation. We think it’s To Do Good, because every time we do something good, we get teleported to the next place. This is the same game where the DM made us fight a Red Dragon at Level 1. (I told that story before)

My character is a Witch Elf who in her fairytale-ish back story, she opened a Pandora’s Box that contained witch magic powers (and a tiny red dragon), but in exchange her whole city disappeared. She thinks she has to atone for her greed.

We’re in the Underdark freeing slaves, and we found a bunch of people who had been tied face-up in a room with horrible acid dripping constantly from the ceiling. One is a Dark Elf who is also something of a (maybe evil and powerful) wizard who hates the people who imprisoned him. We join up because we have a common enemy in the Dark Elf Queen.

At this point, I ask the DM (like I always do) if the (perhaps evil) wizard is hot, and I get the answer “his face is completely messed up by acid…?” which I take to mean “yes, absolutely”

This session tonight was the night when we had to make a break for it, trying to help all these slaves escape from the Dark Elf Queen. The Maybe Evil Wizard who is Tortured and Vengeful is aiding us in our fight. Warlock Lover puts up a wall of fire between our fleeing slaves and the approaching Dark Elf armies.

And there’s a…. lot. There are more characters on the board than I’ve ever seen in a d&d session of any kind. it’s an all-out war, trying to kill a fire giant before the armies can pinch us. It’s terrifying. All of the figures and dice and skulls in this picture are characters/creatures with turns. It took like 7 hours to play this battle.

Suddenly, Hot Morally Dubious Warlock turns and casts a spell on my Witch(!!!), making it so if anyone attacks her, they’ll take damage in retribution. Star-struck, my character watches as he then casts the same spell on himself and stands bodily between us and the approaching armies so they’ll target him.

At this point, I’m screeching “He’s so handsome!!!” and “HE LOVES ME” and “if he dies, I’m instantly ditching all of you, grabbing him, and we’re flying away to safety on my broom.” Our party rogue who loves musical theater starts making phantom of the opera jokes about his dashing acid-burned face. (The DM weakly comments that the Warlock’s actions were purely pragmatic and he just noticed my Witch was getting attacked a lot, so that’s where the spell would do the most good, but nobody listened bc romantic drama was the only thing getting us thru this session.)

Anyway, PCs are dropping unconscious, I’m getting emotionally worked up and hopeless. We saved the slaves, but we got blocked off from them by a Wall of Stone. at this point the Warlock successfully kills two entire WAVES of enemies all by himself, like a handsome dashing selfless motherfucker, but he drops below 0 hit points in the process.

my Witch scoops the Evil Wizard Hero up on her broom, unconscious, and then we thought we were going to die because we couldn’t get the wall open, but bc we successfully saved the slaves, we all got teleported again—the Warlock too. It was romantic as shit!! all I need is the material to build my own romance all in my own head and I’ll be happy playing figurines for hours. I can’t wait for him to turn out Really Evil when not in the pursuit of a shared goal… DRAMA lol ;_;